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Quilting Anonymous (Parody Video)

Quilting Anonymous (Parody Video)

Posted on September 14, 2019 by John Hardy


Hi my name is Jack and I’m a secret Quilter.
“Hi Jack.” I don’t even know where to start. “Start from the beginning, Jack.” I’ve been
quilting for about 5 years now and my wife doesn’t know about it. At first, I was ashamed
at how much I really enjoyed quilting. But now I’m at a point where I’d rather spend
time at my sewing machine than at my saw. How do you keep your stash hidden from your
wife, because no matter what I do, mine just show up out of no where? “I keep it in the
tool chest, she never looks there.” Jack, which toolbox is the hammer in? “Does anyone
else have anything for Jack?” Yeah, Jack, I completely understand what you’re going
through. My wife thinks I go bowling on Thursday nights and I hate bowling! “Alright honey,
off to bowling night with the guys.” I’m baaack! Hi Dave! But I just don’t know how I’m going
to tell my wife and kids that instead of going to the bowling alley, I’m going to the quilt
guild meetings. “We’d all like to thank Dave for his honesty and integrity and being true
to himself.” Thanks Dave. Is there anyone else who would like to share with us tonight?
I’ve been having a lot of problems recently. Seems no matter what I do, my top thread keeps
breaking. Tyler, tell us more. I’m using a 40 wt. cotton thread, my tension is set at
5, using a size 80 needle and it just shreds. Does anyone have any advice for Tyler? You’ve
got to use a 90/14 Topstitch needle, especially titanium coated. It will reduce the friction
on the thread and sew great. Thanks guys, I really appreciate it. Thank you Tyler. As
a special presentation tonight, I thought I would share my personal story.
It all started when my wife left for the weekend and I tore my favorite blanket. I jumped online
and started watching tutorials. 5 hours later, I was still watching videos. I tried to fit
in quilting anywhere I went. I modified my car and hard-wired a sewing machine so that
I can truly sew, on the go. I told my wife that the extra pedal was for the turbo drive
and not to press down on it. It turns out that sewing while driving is a little too
distracting. I just couldn’t keep my seams straight.
I met a guy who supplied the best stuff around, Egyptian-grown extra long staple cotton. This
thread had virtually no lint and was so smooth in my machine.
After a while, people started noticing my improvements and urged me to enter my quilts.
And then it happened…. I got caught. Hey! What are you doing? Umm.. This? I’m reverse-engineering
this power tool. Are you Quilting? uhhh….no? Are those feathers? mmmm… Maybe? You’re
better at this than me! You should learn how to quilt! Really? Wow. Does your wife still support you, even though she knows how serious you’re in? Support me, she taught me trapunto last week! (gasp!)

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35 thoughts on “Quilting Anonymous (Parody Video)”

  1. Laura Phipps says:
    August 2, 2014 at 3:51 am

    Awesome video! Should be a series!!

    Reply
  2. I Am Just One Mom says:
    August 3, 2014 at 1:55 pm

    sure hope that bobbin in his beard is a sign that your prewound SoFine! 50wt size M or size L bobbins are in!  They are the greatest prewounds!

    Reply
  3. wanda morrison tillotson says:
    August 3, 2014 at 3:51 pm

    i love this thread.  it is pricey at the quilting shops at the fishing shops its soooo much cheaper!  

    Reply
  4. Susan Miller says:
    August 3, 2014 at 10:45 pm

    This is a riot!

    Reply
  5. Patti Rairden says:
    August 5, 2014 at 1:43 pm

    My Group   Stitchaholics Anonymous on fb. is roaring  with laughter

    Reply
  6. queenopearls says:
    August 5, 2014 at 9:36 pm

    Fat quarter tastic!!

    Reply
  7. gaynor morgan says:
    August 7, 2014 at 6:59 pm

    I can't use sewing machines. 🙁

    Reply
  8. gaynor morgan says:
    August 7, 2014 at 7:00 pm

    I can't use sewing machines. 🙁

    Reply
  9. Jennifer Shirley says:
    August 8, 2014 at 1:08 pm

    This is great!  Thanks for the laugh.

    Reply
  10. Sharon Neth says:
    September 2, 2014 at 7:11 pm

    this is too funny!

    Reply
  11. narrowwaywalker says:
    September 6, 2014 at 5:53 am

    Hilarious!

    Reply
  12. Elizabeth Alexander-Pukerud says:
    September 10, 2014 at 12:29 am

    Haha! Good job guys…How did you not crack up laughing!

    Reply
  13. Marysia Paling says:
    September 24, 2014 at 8:52 am

    Oh this is just fabulous. What a lovely giggle with my morning coffee. Shared it on facebook so my sewingsista's can giggle too!

    Reply
  14. Carol Little says:
    October 22, 2014 at 7:49 pm

    Too funny!  I keep telling my husband he needs to get a long arm machine.  He does a lot of beautiful scroll saw work and has excellent hand – eye coordination.  I am sure he would do great with a long arm!  Way to go guys!

    Reply
  15. B Metz says:
    January 10, 2015 at 5:39 pm

    Cute, but lest ye forget, men have been the top tailors, chefs and weavers of the world, not just the leading mechanics, engineers, woodworkers or gardeners.  Give them a needle and thread, a long arm, a frying pan or loom, and what do you have—an interesting, talented hetero husband. lol

    Reply
  16. Sue Nelson says:
    March 26, 2015 at 4:27 pm

    Love the bobbin to the beard. Hilarious.

    Reply
  17. Recovery Channel says:
    August 20, 2015 at 9:45 pm

    Awesome video!  Truly captured the support group vibe without ragging on it!  Well done, very tasteful!  😀

    Reply
  18. Patricia Hale says:
    February 10, 2016 at 2:12 am

    Nicely done…more please!

    Reply
  19. RV Hobo says:
    August 4, 2016 at 10:00 pm

    I know how they feel, I some times feel like I am the only male quilter in San Francisco.

    Reply
  20. Fresno Joe says:
    February 24, 2017 at 6:36 am

    lol~! Amen~!

    Reply
  21. BertonRucker1 says:
    April 5, 2017 at 9:57 pm

    Fuck man, who's the blonde dude? I'd work a 13th step with that.

    Reply
  22. complexify1 says:
    May 6, 2017 at 4:11 am

    I loved this video. You guys are so funny!!! Thanks for the laughs.

    Reply
  23. Judy Garcia says:
    November 11, 2017 at 2:44 pm

    Lol lol lol 😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣👍👍👍👍👍👍

    Reply
  24. newbeequilter says:
    December 17, 2017 at 3:31 am

    Thanks, this was so much fun to watch. I'm adding it to my "Quilt Humor" folder on my YT channel; it would be a crime not to share it.

    Reply
  25. Emilio Guevara says:
    February 9, 2018 at 6:06 pm

    This was the best video ever. It helped me come out to my wife about sewing… and many other things.

    Reply
  26. larain shannon says:
    August 17, 2018 at 10:29 pm

    If only, my hubby would learn to quilt. Maybe not, we would need a new house with a room for his fabrics.

    Reply
  27. Andrae Banks says:
    May 19, 2019 at 12:58 am

    LOL!!! I'm doing better now. I use to wake up and sew, go to work, get off from work, get back to sewing and go to bed. Then on the weekends, sew all day. Sometimes I'll forget to eat.

    Reply
  28. Lori Cameron says:
    June 13, 2019 at 2:18 pm

    Oh, this is hilarious! The bobbin in the beard is a great touch!

    Reply
  29. Jenifer Aragon says:
    June 13, 2019 at 3:32 pm

    So cute. You guys are funny!

    Reply
  30. taurigal says:
    June 13, 2019 at 4:08 pm

    This is great! Fun video.

    Reply
  31. Cowgirlcadet 1701 says:
    June 13, 2019 at 5:27 pm

    I think Tyler watched that Eleanor Burns music video on how to hide your stash!

    Reply
  32. Frances Servoss says:
    June 13, 2019 at 5:41 pm

    Love this. My husband passed away 17 years ago, long before I got my longarm. He repaired two treadle machines for me. I know if he was still here, he would know my longarm forwards and backwards. Miss him, but I know he is watching me sew.

    Reply
  33. Nancy Goodwin says:
    June 18, 2019 at 4:47 am

    Cute little pun of a video. HOWEVER,I have a soap box! It is one of my pet peeves to continue to portray men as lacking integrity and not being truthful. Media has been doing it for years– that is making men appear to be bimbos. I would put a plug for showing men in a more positive way. They have strengths that we need as women. Supporting the crafts of needlework does not need to demasculinize them. An attractive man is a truthful one! Can't a cute and funny video still capture some of their better traits?????

    Reply
  34. Karen S says:
    June 18, 2019 at 5:57 pm

    "Are those feathers?" "These?" (guilty pause) "Maybe."

    Reply
  35. Karen S says:
    June 18, 2019 at 6:00 pm

    I love the guy who asked his wife if the master bedroom should be the sewing room. It looks like he has a long arm set up in the living room. I'm single. I wonder if he has any brothers.

    Reply

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