*Haaaa* Mark: Bonjour. *Said in a poor French accent* Mark: Welcome to Markiplier makes art. Mark: Fine art, the finest art that you have ever seen, that you will ever know!
Fine art, the finest art that you have ever seen, that you will ever know Fine art, the finest art that you have ever seen, that you will ever know Have you ever thought to yourself when you are out The Louvre on a summer’s evening? -BLOOT- And then you go, and you see the Mona Lisa and then you- no. Drifting into German and then you see the Mona Lisa, and it calls to you And you know that in your blood you feel it in your heart a little bit of mmmm yes That’s ART And so today we are going to make you the finest art that you have ever seen before in your life It’s troo But I cannot do it alone No. NON Nyuh Auck no, I need my friends introducing–oh introducing Tyler the naked David statue by a Leonardo Da Vinci Scheid. Notice a bear with his tiny penis oh, so small Small, but this- ah- was an artistic choice! David probably hung like horse. But this time NO. this one very small -mwah- You’re welcome, and this time I would like to introduce Ethan. OHHONHONHON UNE BAGUETTE EIFFEL TOWER HONHONHONHONHONHONHON (Ethan) honhonhon He has a crippling disease. He cannot stop HON-ing (Ethan hon-ing in the background) -Ethan inhales- HON Enchante. r u ok HAVE THE HONS BEEN CURED? It’s a HON miracle! Alright, anyway. God, I gotta stop going Scottish. Ethan: Scottish? You were German that entire time. Mark: Noooo What are you talking about?(X2) It’s not German! Bonjour! Tyler: Bonjour. Ethan: MMMMMMMmmmm. Mark: So here is how it will go. Ahh yes -sniffs- Can you smell the art in the air? (Ethan sniffs the air. Add some hand actions, and bingo) Oh hi Amy (Ethan now sniffs the canvas. Oh boy!) you are my MUSE You are the inspiration of all my ART I said BONJOUR to you And then I feel it in my soul Ethan: Do you not feel the same when you look at me, do you not feel the bonjour in your heart?? Mark: NOOOO Ethan: Ohhhn, (???) Mueeh Mark: Nooo way Maybe David over there with his tiny penis Ethan: wowow HONHONHON Mark: HOW MANY TIME WHEN YOU FIRST CAME OUT HERE YOU SAID SMALL COCK???? THAT WASN’T THIS JOKE THIS IS ALSO JOKE, WHAT YOU SAY -lot of unintelligible arguing- -ethan looks so done- I am not admitting to anything I think he admitting alright what r we doing WHAT? OH, YEAH I FORGOT welcome back Ignore the technical difficulties that we just..solved Today we are going to make………self portraits Self-por-insert throat catchy sound here-traits Ethan: no incorrect
Mark: NO THAT IS WRONG WE ARE GOING TO MAKE PORTRAITS OF FRIENDS HONHON!! We are going to fight for the right to paint each other and then when we paint each other we will try to be acc–what? WHAT IS WRONG???? IT’S ACCURATE NOW IT’S TROO TO FRANDS DON’T MIND THESE ASSHOLES we fight for right to paint each other WHO PICK WHO? I DUNNO BUT MAYBE WE KNOW SOON ENOUGH SO WHEN YOU PICK WHO WHO THE OTHER, THEY PICK EACH OTHER and it’ll be fun for we in FRANCE Rochambeau we do rock pape up HERE Rochambeau ready? yis w-h-uh wait ROOMBA UN–ZOOMBA GROOMBA?? BOOP! OH YOU WIN!! I will paint–Mark. Ahhhh Excellent choice I will paint…myself No. No. Then I paint you No it was joke. You have to paint him, he has to paint me I paint you you paint him I can’t paint mys—no, he paint me We have brush!
I paint YOU?? yes He paint me
Hey Tyler Tyler paint you WE SHOULD GET PAINTING OUR SPLOOSHERS SPLAT OHHH That worked out better than I ever could have hoped. AH! Where is..the black? I have it in my hand of fuckhole take it EAT DICKS i’m sorry i don’t know where the anger came from we have our paint and we have our…muses SO NOW, WE PAINT GO!!! ……………Who am I painting again? YOU PAINT ME fuckboi
mmmm i’ve never painted before in my life You’ve never painted???
Never Not even finger paint?
Nuuuuh well mebbe, i dunno, we were poor children Growing up in the streets You didn’t have fingers YOU HAD—AHA, LOOK AT MR. RICH MAN HERE HE HAD FINGERS GROWING UP WELL FUCK ME you, you know what art is about? do you know what the definition of art is?? if someone asked you hey mr. encyclopedia what’s art? what would you say to them cuz I know the answer but I wanna see if you know it ..who’re you talking to? I’m talking to you
Oh I do, but, you know, let’s compare notes after you say what you think art is well art is something that–you know, is visual but– it comes from the inside not here but here through your nose?
-mark wheezes- Amy: do you guys wanna talk about what you’re doing specifically right now? I’ve no idea. it is a work in progress well, let’s just leave it at that. I’m making chocolate milk ah ooh ah ooh eh ooh eh ooh eh ooh ooh Amy: what technique is that It’s…the fumato which–uhuhuhuh the the Leonardo da Vinci no….who made the mona lisa leonardo dicaprio THAT’S IT he use the fumato technique I wonder what the first color was right?? That….has blown my mind!!!! RIGHT???
WHAT WAS FIRST COLOR???? BLACK??? WHITE? What was the first color that they recognized as…color??? Color is uh just a social construct It’s true.
It is made up HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT MY BLUE ISN’T THE SAME AS YOUR BLEU??? WELL THAT’S THE THING IS THAT OUR BLEUS ARE NOT THE SAME!!! *X-files theme plays* WHOOOOOOAAAAA -whispers- fuck ETHAN!!! WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU?? IT’S FINE IT’S FINE IT’S FINE TYLER DON’T LOOK OVER HERE Tyler: excuse me mark I don’t wanna—
Ethan: DON’T LOOK OVER HERE I don’t wanna knock over something like ethan -Ethan screams- Oh…GOD DON’T LOOK TYLER
I already saw it.. -Ethan laughs manically- That looks like bob nonono don’t look -ethan wheezes-
You’re done?? -ethan still wheeze laughing- YOU SEE THAT?
Mark: YEAH I see that -ethan crying inside- that’s some deep fuckin’ shit right there fUCK I’m a genius -gasps- fUCK god dammit I keep doing that I keep scooping paint on my brush and I keep forgetting that it’s not digital and it doesn’t go into your brush and it’s REAL here you forgot that it’s real paint? I FORGOT I FORGOT HOW REAL PAINT WORKS OKAY? IT’S NOT MY FAULT…. I gotta make some drastic changes I think I’m just about done, honestly Yeah? Alright I’ll finish up soon then YEAH good enough i think i’m done Tyler, are you done? not quite How long? not much longer We’re gonna each take turns doing a big reveal of our amazing pieces of art and then we’re going to have them judged based on the criteria of accuracy to the subject, overall artistic goodness, and then which one would the judges actually pay money for? OKAY OH HE’S DONE oh he’s done and now we will take turns revealing our art and you will see oh, you will see Tyler do you wanna go first cuz your art is so fresh? y–no I think it should be the order of completion, personally -marky stink face- WE WILL DO IT TYLER FIRST, JUST BECAUSE I wanted to piss him off don’t worry about a thing nothing happened…lol …performance art Mark: that’s better art than we have
Ethan: different kind of art but still art all the same ah…I love the chlorox ahh ze art has revealed here we have mark OUTDOORS on vacation and this is what mark would look like if he actually took a vacation yes, wearing his own merch wearing Wade’s merch, actually Wade’s merch but with an M. Yes So he’s outdoors, you can see Chica running off to the side as Mark is staring off into the distance on a..nice wispy day with nice wisps truly dead eyes uh, busy thinking about making videos. ohh. Even on vacation.
Even on vacation I never stop Are you ready for mine? Ah -mwah- no one is rrready. OHH. It is our favorite BLEU BOI. Accurate!! Accurate.. Acne…..
Delicious blueberry face Cute
You want to pinch the cheeks Isn’t it me? OHHONHON And then your hair Got it pretty accurately Your dreams and aspirations
Yes For a diamond play button
uh huh And you’re at the beach coz you moved to LA!
I love the beach! Mm.
I love it! And you’re a ghost because you’re dead Ah just like my channel Y-yeah -EXCITED AGREEMENT- Uh and last but not least we have Tyler here he looks like bob if you take a peek, something happened here when it fell on the floor that is…a toenail there’s a lot of uh…there’s a lot of.. happenstance *laughing* happening here -laugh- when she fell the toenail… the toenail happened to get there and I thought you know what, put your face right up there, put your face right up there oh you cover me, that’s fine parfeect We have the toenail on there and I just—I couldn’t– dare to touch that.. M: when…when fate smiles upon your art like that
E: yes! you gotta smile back yeah you gotta smile I’m…I’m really curious about your chin selection. Does my chin jut out? nnno
cuz I don’t— OH, yeah Mr. Butt-chin for me, thank you very much you can’t criticize! yeah
it is ACCURATE! and lips I thought were very good and uh hair obviously it’s not… like it is now but I..I like the old Tyler yeah you’ve changed changed.. we have our art gallery here and we’re ready to show it to the judges so if we could have the judges come down -clap clap clap- neck’s a little small. it’s true. A: but relative to his body size it’s okay
K: it’s not very…it’s not super thick. Not as thick as I would like. Yeah. Could use a thicker neck, but… Everything else is pretty…pretty accurate spot on. So for my painting I went with uh…uh extreme realism Like I went super real. HYPER realism, actually um, so the blue face uh..the acne, which I wanted to kinda understate cuz that’s not really a reflection of who he is um the, the hair um, just whenever I see it, like I’m pretty sure…
A: I thought that was a hat. oh no. no. I think that too. But it’s actually his hair. An overcast day Well no nevermind it’s not. IT’S NOT I LIED BUT LYING’S PART OF THE EXPERIENCE OK What is real?
Good point. WHAT IS REAL? What do you see, how do you know the Ethan that I see isn’t the Ethan that you see? This is my representation of Tyler He’s uh…. He’s got the big hair. That he used to have, that we know him of.
He’s got a REAL hair. Is that? or is that just texture uhhh Oh over here?
No not the toenail, that guy OH UH…I think that is actual hair That..might be mine Um…and then there is..
K: look at this That might be Marzipan (Kathryn’s cat) That is–there is multiple real hairs on this painting Uhh I wanted to bring life Into the painting and I did that with real life elements like hair and the toenail. Um the toenail was really something that wasn’t planned at all, it just happend and I was like Brilliant x7 this is God’s Plan. The hair, I tried to get swirly birds in it real swirly coz Tyler’s got curly hair very curly hair really good texture a good texture yeah and he’s out in the rain. Why is he in the rain? what?
Why is he in the rain? because it’s raining outside… -and here Ethan knew he was fucked- …in this depiction… Okay.
Yeah. If that’s the rain I’m seeing it more as a floating head above a pond. -what- I think it’s accurate. I think it’s beautiful It’s real nice it’s stained YES THE STAIN OF LIFE AND AGE, IT REPRESENTS HIS TIMELINE SEE When it’s bigger up here, that’s when he was a child and so he had much more happiness and uhh, and, and, you know, he had these big dreams and as he aged, they just slowly…thinned out…until eventually….. …disappears. That’s sad. That’s why it’s raining.
I get it now. no it’s just raining because that happens to be the weather no that’s sad.
he’s not smiling. incorrect.
death of the artist. He’s not smiling.
You don’t get to tell me how to interpret the art HE’S NOT SMILING but that doesn’t mean that he’s frowning it’s a neutral pose—
that looks like a smile to me. the more I look at it the more it looks like a smile. Listen you can interpret it any way that you want but I’m just saying to you that from the artist himself that made the painting HE’S NOT SMILING BUT HE’S ALSO NOT FROWNING HE’S JUST THERE, But as soon as you abandon the work and open it up to critique, your interpretation is not just yours, this is mine see now the toenail looks like a tear he’s crying toenails. alright well… I think we’ll turn it over to the judges, thanks …they are the judges I will say, Mark… took a lot of creative and had a great imagination in creating his instead of going for realism he went for something just different. something that had to come from his mind instead of something that he’s just seeing and reimagining. I think somehow Ethan channeled his, uh, complete chaos inside of him and put it onto the frame, like it wasn’t YOU, your hand here, awful the worst. A child could do better.
Okay. BUT YOUR CREATIVE SPIRIT falling down, toppling over everything, that’s where it lies And that’s where you truly shine. NOT HERE, but right there. I think so too. what i still think that looks way more like bob than me okay well… that is 100% you tyler. final decisions from the judges, are you ready? there are three categories first one is accuracy. which we are going to give…to Tyler! yeah! am I even in shot for art, the second one is just like, good art skill good technique exhibited gonna give that to….Mark! HEYYYY I did not think that was going to happen huh.
Look at all that skill and the last one is which we’d pay money for.
what would we pay money for? which goes to… Ethan!